message for your deaf ears

the Arecibo message

blah blah blah

There is of course the satisfaction of composing florid prose. And cryptic terseness. Vanity? Not in the long run. Assertiveness: that's why I write these little essays.

These blog posts are a chance for me to express my point of view in whole, without interruption, and in detail; something I otherwise rarely have the opportunity to do. This is because no one gives a shit about my personal opinions and views.

I get well enough professional respect to keep my chin in the air, and am sufficiently feared at home to maintain my testosterone levels; so I'm comfortable with the general lack of interest in what's going in my personal head. But sometimes I'm curious about what's going on in there. And often I'm not really sure until I see it written down.

Why broadcast my views? Because publishing imposes discipline. It encourages me to consider a hypothetical reader while I am writing a post, and provides a satisfying sense of closure when I click the button when I'm done.

lorem ipsum vanitas

I'd like to correct any misconceptions about self-importance. I have statistically certain knowledge of exactly how many people find these posts compelling and relevant. Nobody. It's a one-way communication into the abyss. Like broadcasting radio messages into space. The situation is stable. I check the statistics daily. In this way, I keep my self-importance in check.

No, dear reader, I do not consider you a "nobody," or an "alien," or in any way like an "abyss". In fact, I am most likely related or married to you, in which case, I love you. Otherwise, I probably know you to some degree personally, in which case, chances are we are friendly. Thank you for reading this. You are kind, and I would be pleased if you left a comment and more pleased if you actually discussed any of the thoughts in these posts with me. If you have come to this blog by accident, then I humbly hope you will find something amusing enough to warrant your time. If you already dislike me and have come to this blog in search of justification, then i) I'm flattered, and ii) you lose, dickhead. Ha!

wankity wankity wank

I enjoy the craft of composition, the pleasure of creation, of forming an argument, of working with ideas. I like the practical reward of having coherent thoughts at hand when the (rare) occasion arises.

However, I have noticed two potential downsides. Since I started to blog, my personal email account has been neglected. Friends can wait days for a reply. I prefer to believe this is a symptom of a general creeping fatigue of the demands of constant connectedness, as well as because time blogging leaves less time for other leisure activities; but there is also an element of cowardly vice. Measured by word count, I seem to prefer unanswerable pronouncements over personal correspondance. But the way I like to think about it is, I'm sparing my friends and family the ordeal of appearing interested. I've seen it. It's not pretty. I'm performing an act of mercy.

The other potential drawback is being seduced by words. By this I mean falling into the world of semantics and logic. Language is limiting. It's wrong to understand the world as something that makes sense. While I use language to reveal my thoughts, I should not deceive myself that all thoughts can be expressed in language. I should not devalue the inarticulate. Because I will become an asshole.

happy ending

So why bother? Why to write down thoughts no one cares about for a blog no one reads? Why anything? Because it gives me joy. It makes at least as much sense as anything else I do.

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If you prefer less introspective fare, my other blog is for the more practical and professionally-minded reader

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